AKRON, OH — In a speech today, Senator McCain alluded to a young prostitute named Wanda he had recently met, who sells her body on street corners and dark alleyways. “Wanda is a working, single mother, and shouldn’t have to pay increased taxes,” said McCain. “I trust her to do a better job with her own money than the government, but under Senator Obama’s tax policies, she wouldn’t have enough cash to pay her rent, compensate her pimp and purchase a supply of clean needles. “
Tag: john mccain
McCain's Wife to Buy Votes, Spur Economy
NEW YORK, NY — While taping a segment for the TV show, “The View,” John McCain announced a new economic plan, where citizens would be
Gov. Palin to be Replaced with SNL's Tina Fey
NEW YORK — In yet another stunning announcement from the McCain campaign, the Republican presidential nominee said that he will be replacing his vice presidential
McCain Interviews Writers for Concession Speech
SEDONA, AZ — John McCain is currently seeking writers for his November 4th concession speech. “It’s important to the American people that a concession speech
Breaking News: McCain Asks to Suspend Election
NEW YORK — Republican John McCain said Wednesday he wants to postpone the 2008 presidential election in order to take time to study the economy,
New McCain Strategy: I'm Blacker than Obama
PHILADELPHIA — In a recent television ad, Senator McCain is shown addressing a group of African Americans, telling them that Obama is not half the black man he is.
“Let’s not fall into the trap of judging blackness by the color of a man’s skin,” said McCain. “I am proud to be a black American. The tint of my exterior may reflect my albino heritage, but in my heart I am blacker than the decaying infra-structure of our inner cities.”
Tennessee Man Receives Government Bailout
WASHINGTON — The Federal Reserve today announced it will be giving 14 billion dollars to Thomas Shale, a blue collar textile worker from Knoxville.
Pelosi on Palin: Way too Young
WASHINGTON — Representative Nancy Pelosi, Speaker of the House of Representatives and second in line for the presidency, expressed her disappointment in the selection of
Lipstick-Wearing Pig Offended by McCain Comments
FAIRFAX, VA — John McCain accused Senator Obama today of making a disparaging reference to Gov. Sarah Palin by uttering the phrase “You can put lipstick
Sarah Palin to Celebrate Election Victory by Getting Pregnant
LEBANON, Ohio — Gov. Sarah Palin expects to win the vice presidency of the United States, and when she does, her fist order of business
