NEW YORK — In yet another stunning announcement from the McCain campaign, the Republican presidential nominee said that he will be replacing his vice presidential running mate, Sarah Palin, with Tina Fey, the writer-producer-actor who portrayed Palin in a series of sketches on Saturday Night Live.
“Ms. Fey has all the charm and wit of Governor Palin,” McCain told CNN, “and while she may not bring as much support from self-loathing women and evangelicals, she pulls in strong numbers with the media elite.”
Fey first came to the attention of McCain after the senator saw her portrayal of the Governor of Alaska on an episode of the weekly NBC comedy program. “She was a better Sarah Palin than Sarah Palin,” he said. “When I look at her, I still get that same tingly feeling in my loins, but I can actually listen to this one without thinking ‘Oh, fuck, what did I do?'”
Fey’s agent told reporters his client would only consider the offer if she received equal billing on all treaties, manifestos, bailouts and other important government documents, with her name printed in a font size equal to or greater than that of the president’s.
Governor Palin took the announcement in stride. “Oh well, it looks like this small town mayor-governor-petroleum regulator just got replaced by a higher profile hyphenate,” she said. “If John wants to swap me for someone who can name you a Supreme Court justice but lacks amusing folksy anecdotes, well that just strikes me as someone who’s singing the same old Washington tune.”
Palin’s husband, Todd, was equally as philosophical, saying he didn’t think the replacement of his wife with a TV star would change the dynamics of the election.
“If the Vice President ends up being Tina Fey,” he said. “I’d still do her.”