WASHINGTON — Keeping with his message of inclusion, President-elect Barack Obama has invited a group of thirteen snipers from around the country to attend his inauguration.
By request, the snipers will be seated in an undisclosed area, hidden from view of the large crowds expected to fill the National Mall.
“These are great seats,” said one sniper, who refused to be identified. “I hope to have a clear view of the president throughout the entire ceremony.”
“Or for at least 5.3 seconds,” added another.
Despite an outpouring of criticism from his liberal base, Obama said he is not revoking the invitations. “I don’t agree with what these people do,” he said, “but I think it’s important to surround myself with people who find me disagreeable.”
Conservative author Ann Coulter called the left-wing bloggers hypocrites. “They talk about inclusion, inclusion, inclusion,” she said, “but when it includes people with whom they disagree, they act like a bunch of Holocaust crybabies.”
The snipers won their inaugural tickets by entering a drawing on the Barack Obama website.