Kadafi Dead; Gaddafi and Qaddafi Still at Large

Rare picture of Kadafi, Qaddafi and Gaddafi

WASHINGTON — While worldwide celebrations continue to erupt in response to the news that Libyan rebels captured and killed dictator Moammar Kadafi, the U.S. government has issued a reminder that Muammer Qaddafi and Moammar Gaddafi are still at large, and should be considered armed and dangerous.

“Kadafi and his alliterative counterparts have terrorized the world for decades,” said President Obama in a televised speech. “We have now reduced their evil triumvirate by one-third, but we still have a lot of work ahead of us to put an end to these other guys, Qaddafi and Gaddafi.”

That task may be near impossible, according to intelligence experts.

CIA and military analysts have so far come up empty in the search for those “other guys,” with CIA Director General David Petraeus calling the suituation “baffling.”

“As soon as Kadafi was taken out,” noted Petraeus, “it’s almost as if Qaddafi and Gaddafi just up and disappeared along with him.”

Obama said the United States is far from declaring “Mission Accomplished,” and will be relentless in its pursuit of Qaddafi and Gaddafi, promising Americans to bring them to justice “no matter how long it takes.”

“And if we’re lucky,” added Obama, “we’ll even be able to get this new fourth guy we’ve been hearing about — Moammar El-Gadhafi.”