Today is: Wednesday, December 7, 2016
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Trump Dump

All About The Donald: A Dude So Awesome and Powerful, He Gets His Own Section

Barron Trump to Serve as Secretary of Child Labor


President-Elect Donald Trump today announced he has appointed his youngest son, Barron Trump, 10, to serve as head of the newly created Department of Child Labor.

Trump to Re-Open U.S. Internment Camps; Will Make Japan Pay for It

Japanese Relocation Camp

Manzanar, CA ( – In his latest speech on foreign policy, Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump today announced his intention to refurbish the Japanese relocation camps originally authorized by Franklin Roosevelt in 1942. The camps were constructed to retain citizens of Japanese descent who were rounded-up during World War II, in order to calm a […]

Tenants of Trump Tower Petition for Name Change

Trump Tower

NEW YORK ( – Residents of Trump Tower have signed a petition asking that Trump’s name be removed from the 58-story building. Although the famous skyscraper located at 725 Fifth Avenue is owned by Trump, himself, the petitioners have had no success in convincing their billionaire landlord to remove his name from the property, and […]

Justice Ginsburg Apologizes for Calling Trump ‘A Faker’; Says ‘Egomaniacal Shit Stain’ More Appropriate

Ruth Bader Ginsburg

Had she thought about it, explained Ginsburg, she would have referred to the Republican Presidential nominee as an “ego-maniacal shit stain” or a “puss-infused phlegm ball.”

Mein Trumpf

Mein Trumpf

Trump Vows to Bring Scalia Back from the Dead

Supreme Court with Dead Scalia

COLUMBIA, SC ( — Claiming that he has a “knack for bringing the deceased back to life,” Donald Trump told a crowd of evangelical voters today that if elected, he will bring the late Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia back from the dead. Trump said this would put an end to the controversy as to […]

Trump’s Plan to Deport Illegals Would Exclude the Ones Working for Him

trump's illegal immigrants

New York ( – Presidential candidate Donald Trump today clarified his position on illegal immigration, saying his plan to deport millions of undocumented immigrants would specifically exclude the ones currently employed by his various business enterprises. “In all the time these illegal immigrants have been working for me, they have not raped or murdered anyone,” […]

Uranus to Appear as Large as Donald Trump’s Head on August 27th

Donald Trump and the planet Uranus

PASADENA, CA ( — Star viewers will be in for a real treat on August 27, when Uranus will appear to be as big as Donald Trump’s head. This celestial happening occurs once every 50,000 years, thus the last people to witness this event were Cro-Magnons — who, coincidentally, comprise a majority of Trump supporters. […]

Trump Already Building His Presidential Library


NEW YORK ( — Ground broke Monday on the President Donald J. Trump Library and Museum in Upper Manhattan.  Funded solely by Donald J. Trump, the $1.5 billion project is touted to be the largest of all the other presidential libraries. “It will house all the tens of thousands of things – millions of things, […]

Trump Forms Charity to Find Cure for Narcissistic Personality Disorder


NEW YORK ( — One need not be cynical to believe that celebrities only make large donations to causes when they have some personal connection to it. Not that there’s a problem with that; it takes huge amounts of money to conduct research into various ailments with the hope of someday discovering a cure, and […]