RICHMOND, VA (TheSkunk.org) — Governor Bob McDonnell Friday announced that the name of his state has been officially changed to “Vagina.” His declaration comes on the heels of signing into law a requirement that women seeking abortions receive mandatory abdominal ultrasounds prior to the procedure.
“The State of Virginia cares about your vagina,” said McDonnell at a ceremony marking the state’s new moniker, “and that’s why we can proudly say we are now all citizens of Vagina, and why I’m so proud to serve as your duly elected Vaginal head.”
McDonnell believes the name change will remove the negative attention recently directed at his state because of the new abortion law.
“Let the world know that Vagina is a friend to women,” said McDonnell. “Our Vagina is your Vagina.”
To coincide with the new name, the state flag has been redesigned. The two warriors previously depicted inside a circular emblem have been replaced with an image of a colorful, smiling vagina.
The state’s tourism department has already begun rethinking its marketing campaigns. “Come to Historic Vagina,” reads a proposed new billboard ad. “Hike our trails, explore our parks, get an ultrasound.”
The famous “Virginia is for Lovers” campaign has also been changed accordingly.
Not everyone is happy with the new name, however. Reacting to their neighbors to the east, West Virginia officials are considering a name change of their own.
“There can only be one Vagina,” noted Governor Earl Ray Romblin. “So I think we’re going with either ‘South Pennsylvania’ or ‘East Ohio.’”
A new commercial featuring Governor McDonnell will begin airing next week. “Vagina is wide-open,” says McDonnell in the thirty-second spot. “We invite everyone to come and explore our wonderful Vagina.”