White House Faces Foreclosure

A “Notice of Foreclosure Sale” was issued for the White House on Friday, informing the occupants they have 30 days to vacate the premises before it is sold at auction.

According to loan documents, the United States Government, listed as the owner of the property located at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington DC., has been in default for almost eight years.

“It’s no different from the average citizen who’s struggling to make ends meet,” explained Nancy Pelosi, a representative for the property owner, “With the rising cost of everything — food, gas, an undeclared war — it’s been a little hard to keep up the payments.”

The lender claims to have sent out over three-hundred “Notices of Default” before proceeding with the foreclosure process. “The property owners had been given many chances to make good on their loan,” according to Sheik Paul Abdullah, president of G. Hodd Finance of Saudi Arabia. “But instead of paying down their mortgage, they kept requesting additional financing — in the form of billions of barrels of crude oil, no less. We finally had to tell them ‘no more.’”

“We’ve had a destructive tenant living there, whom we’ve been trying to evict for eight years,” Pelosi said, although official documents reveal their lease was renewed in 2004. “The courts forced us to rent to them, we still haven’t received a single payment, and it’s costing us billions of dollars a month just to keep them on the premises.”

The tenant, President George W. Bush, who resides on the property with his family, was philosophical about the ordeal. “We were planning on moving out in January anyway,” he said. “So this really won’t be affecting us much. We can always stay with my brother in Florida for a few months.”

“They’ve made such a mess of the place,” said Pelosi, “that foreclosure is probably best for all parties. Besides, our credit can’t get any worse than it already is.”

The Saudi government has plans to purchase the property at auction and convert it into a mosque.