Queen Elizabeth Felt ‘Violated’ Every Time Hand Kissed

BUCKINGHAM PALACE (TheSkunk.org) – Queen Elizabeth II today revealed she felt “violated” thousands of times over the past 70 years as dignitaries from around the world grabbed and kissed her hand. Elizabeth, who ascended to the throne in 1952, described the hand-kissing incidents as an invasion of her personal space, explaining that it made her feel “vulnerable and unsafe.”

The queen referred to the kissing of her hand without explicit permission to be “wanton sexual misconduct toward the crown.”

“Good heavens!” she declared. “Prince Phillip won’t even perform that act.”

She admitted the “Me-Too” movement motivated her to finally go public.  “It’s such a relief to free myself from this dark secret,” she noted. “I mean, who could I tell? Who would believe me, a woman, against the word of the very wealthy and powerful?”

“All the men and women who have stepped forward to reveal their experiences with unwanted advances,” she added, “gave me the courage to finally emerge from the shadows and convey my own story.”