'Righteous Indignation’ New Theme of RNC Convention

TAMPA (TheSkunk.org) — Responding to criticism that opening speeches at the Republican National Convention lacked a unifying message, RNC Chairman Reince Priebus decided the theme for the final two days would be “Righteous Indignation.”

“This has been the essence of the Republican Party since the days of Goldwater,” said Priebus, “and it’s sure to pull our party together more than casually slipping in the name of our nominee every half hour.”

The response from the speakers has been overwhelmingly positive, with Governor Chris Christie, who delivered the keynote address Tuesday, calling the idea “ brilliant.” Christie asked to be given another shot, indicating that he could deliver a speech twice as righteous and three times as indignant as his first.

But Priebus said that wouldn’t be possible because the slate of upcoming righteously indignant individuals had already been determined.

Former Governor Mike Huckabee and Senator John McCain, both scheduled to speak on Wednesday, were scrambling to rewrite their remarks to be in alignment with the new theme. “You want indignant?” asked McCain. “Try losing a national election to a black guy.”

An enthusiastic Huckabee said he looks forward to “taking a mound of righteousness and piling on the indignation.”

Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, also scheduled for Wednesday, said his own righteous indignation would be directed at the President. “I’ve been trying to get rid of that Muslim ever since he took office,” spurted McConnell, “and the fact that in four years he hasn’t resigned or caused a major scandal just adds both to my righteousness and my indignation.”

“The righteousness part is easy, because I’m always right and Obama’s always wrong,” he added. “And  the never-changing expression on my face has ‘indignation’ written  all over all it.”