Spielberg Accidentally Shoots Entire Movie in Vertical Format

HOLLYWOOD (TheSkunk.org) — Even the best of the best falter from time to time. Audience reaction to Steven Spielberg’s latest film, The Ride of Paul Revere, which debuted in selected theaters on Friday, was anger and confusion over sitting through a two-hour movie that was shot with the camera in the vertical, or “portrait,” format.

“I couldn’t see any of the actors,” complained one audience member, “only occasional ears and arms entering this tall, skinny rectangle.”

“I know the film was based on an important historical event,” said another. “I heard the voices and sound effects, but it all happened outside the frame. I couldn’t tell what was happening.”

Spielberg publicly apologized to theaters goers and promised a refund to anyone who attended one of the showings. Expressing his consternation at the way the film came out, he blamed the debacle on his Director of Photography. “I should have seen this coming,” he reflected. “The guy had just graduated film school and this was his first real job.”

After a few beats, he added: “Never again will I hire someone who shot their student films with an iPhone.”