Washington (TheSkunk.org) — President Trump today issued an executive order changing the name of “Greenland” to “White Land.” The president has been trying to acquire the autonomous Nordic territory for the United States since his first term in office, despite having been sharply rebuffed by the governments of both Greenland and Norway. “I looked at the map and I said, ‘It’s not really green, in fact, not green at all.’”
“Most people don’t know this,” he claimed without evidence, “but it’s mostly white.” With a black Sharpie marker, Trump crossed out the map’s text and printed above it, “White Land.”
“We all love White Land,” he added. “Don’t we all love White Land? The land of the white.”
