NASHUA, N.H. (TheSkunk.org) — Presidential hopeful Herman Cain defended the uncomfortable five minutes of silence he took trying to respond to a simple foreign policy question by claiming it was all part of his strategy to pause for five minutes before making any decision.
Author: Braddon Mendelson
Temptation Alley
16-year-old Billy Jones discovers his family’s house is located behind a magical alley inhabited by magical women, all of whom are willing to have sex with him in exchange for money or heroine.
'Occupy Earth' Movement Baffles Authorities
LOS ANGELES — From Oakland to Paris, law enforcement agencies around the world are in a quandary figuring out how to deal with the new “Occupy Earth” movement.
If the Presidential Election Were Held Today, for Whom Would You Vote?
“Michele Bachmann, definitely. I look forward to at least four years of listening to her thoughtful discourse and well-reasoned policy positions. In addition, I feel she will do the most to ensure my future job security.”
— Ben LaDroit
Writer
The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
Sandusky to Enter Republican Primary Race
STATE COLLEGE, PA — Former Penn State football coach Jerry Sandusky has thrown his hat into the 2012 Republican presidential primary race.
High School Junior Cannot Stop Using the Word 'Dude'
TEMPLE CITY, CA — High school junior Byron Carter has tried unsuccessfully for the last six months to utter a complete sentence that does not contain the word “dude” in it.
Ice Penis
A detective whose penis was blown off in bomb blast has it surgically replaced with a new one made of ice. Follow his exploits as he fights crime and upholds American values, while maintaining the temperature of his pants a cool 30 degrees Fahrenheit. Stars Charlie Sheen.
Sexual Harassment Victim Praises Herman Cain for Jump-Starting Her Career
TOLEDO, OH — Another alleged victim to accuse Herman Cain of sexual harassment has stepped forward — not to blame him for his misdeeds, but to thank him for helping her secure a “plum job.”
Dogs Bomb Spay & Neuter Clinic
CONCORDE, NH — A group of dogs claimed responsibility for the bombing Thursday of a spay & neuter clinic run by a prominent veterinarian. In a statement released today, the canines called mandatory sterilization “an egregious overreach of local government” and “regulation run rampant.”
