13 Killed in Reenactment of Deadly Train Crash that Killed 13
FOGSHAFT, OR — A reenactment of a fatal train crash that killed 13 people last month resulted in the deaths of 13 people.
Skunk Nation
Obama to Send Former President Bush to World's Hot Spots
WASHINGTON, DC — In an apparent sign of reconciliation with his predecessor, President Obama said today he will be sending former president George W. Bush on peace missions to some of the most dangerous parts of the world.
Cheap Bastards Unaffected by Recession
WASHINGTON, DC — While the shaky economy has forced most Americans to cut back on their day-to-day living expenses, the U.S. Bureau of Economic Analysis reported that cheap bastards carry on as though nothing has changed.
Palin Pronounced Brain-Dead
WASILLA — Alaskan Governor Sarah Plain was pronounced brain-dead Friday after reporters found her outside her Wasilla home, mumbling incoherently.
IOUs Become Official Currency of California
SACRAMENTO — Governor Schwarzenegger today declared that IOUs will be the new currency of the State of California.
Obama Kills Elk with Bare Hands
YELLOWSTONE — The response to President Obama’s swatting of a fly with his open palm during an NBC interview was so overwhelming, it prompted him to seek out other animals to kill with his bare hands.
Ugly Girl Asks Rapist to Prom
Myrna Tidfedder endured a lifetime of rude remarks about her appearance, but that didn’t stop the Maywood High School senior from finding someone willing to be seen with her at the cherished event.
Gitmo Prison to House Bush Library
Once the last of the terrorists has been relocated, the detention facility at Guantanamo Bay…
Obama Approves Sandwich-Boarding
WASHINGTON — President Barack Obama issued an Executive Order today approving the use of “Sandwich Boarding” to extract information from suspected terrorists.
Cheney: Somali Pirates Responsible for 9/11
Former vice-president Dick Cheney said in an interview Monday that the Somali pirates who have been wreaking havoc on commercial shipping off the coast of East Africa are responsible for the World Trade Center attacks of September 11, 2001.
