NEW YORK (TheSkunk.org) — He just couldn’t take it any more. Every weeknight for years, CNN anchor Rick Sanchez would be taunted and tormented by an older and wittier colleague from a neighboring network. The unwelcome barbs from Jon Stewart, belittling Sanchez’s intelligence and professionalism, became so unbearable for the newsman, he took his own career.
RAMSDELL, MO — A suicide note left by a local man demonstrated a remarkably poor understanding of syntax and grammar, according to authorities.
JERUSALEM — New archaeological evidence uncovered over the weekend suggests that Jesus was not sentenced to crucifixion by the Roman Empire as previously believed, but that he committed suicide by nailing his own writsts to the cross.
DETROIT — The chief executives from Ford, GM and Chrysler, fresh from groveling to Congress to bail their respective firms out from under their mismanagement and poor judgment, have issued a statement today outlining plans for their joint suicide. Should any of the Big Three automakers be unable to repay the billions of dollars they are requesting from the federal government, all three CEOs have vowed to kill themselves.
