Barack Obama

PHILADELPHIA — In a recent television ad, Senator McCain is shown addressing a group of African Americans, telling them that Obama is not half the black man he is.

“Let’s not fall into the trap of judging blackness by the color of a man’s skin,” said McCain.  “I am proud to be a black American.  The tint of my exterior may reflect my albino heritage, but in my heart I am blacker than the decaying infra-structure of our inner cities.”

In a statement to the press the McCain campaign affirmed the ad’s claim, stating, “Senator McCain is the candidate for all people. He’s not only black, he’s a Jew-lover, a latent homosexual, and a single mother.”

A spokesperson for the NAACP responded in a telephone interview with CNN, by saying, “What the fuck?”