Political News

WASILLA, AK– A secret Russian military operation designed to fly President Putin through Alaskan airspace and return him safely to Moscow was thwarted by Governor Sarah Palin, when she went on a major American television network and revealed the plan. 

“As Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America,” she asked CBS anchor Katie Couric, “where do they go?  It’s Alaska. It’s just right over the border.”

The reaction from authorities in the federal government has been nothing less than astonishment.  “Governor Palin’s extraordinary foreign policy instincts,” said a State Department spokeman, “not to mention her great eyesight, has uncovered a Russian plot to spy on the remotist of Alaskan islands.”

Dick Cheney called Palin’s disclosure brilliant.  “Sarah Palin brought to the forefront information completely missed by our intelligence agencies,” said the Vice President. “I like this woman.”

The CIA reacted in a written statement. “We are humbled by Governor Palin’s abilities to see across international boundaries and detect the nefarious intentions of foreign governments.”

The Russian Secret Service has admitted initiating the top-secret Putin flights. “President Putin was interested in seeing this ‘invisible bridge’ they have in Alaska,” said Petra Pashky, a Russian agent, ”and is seeking to develop similar invisible infrastructures in Russia.”

Agent Pashky said his department would normally deny such intelligence missions, “but with the eagle-eyes and rapid deductive skills of Governor Palin, there is no use keeping our Alaska operation secret any more.” 

Senator McCain, speaking to a group of bank CEOs at a ten-dollar-a-plate fundraiser, referred to Palin as a “true American hero, just like me, but with a different shade of lipstick.”

“This should put an end, once and for all,” he said, “to any questions about my running mate’s international experience.”

Sarah Palin spent the weekend off the coast of Maine, where she stood on a rocky cliff with a pair of binoculars. “Oh, look,” she said.  “I think I see Greenland.”