McCain Taps Beauty Queen to Rally Horny Vote

DAYTON, OH — With the announcement of Governor Sarah Palin of Alaska — a runner-up in the 1984 Miss Alaska pageant — as his choice for vice president, Senator John McCain believes he is making progress in bringing the “horny” vote to his camp.

“In my search for a running mate, I realized there was one demographic we were falling short in reaching,” said Sen. McCain.  “Of course, I’m referring to the Horny Man Vote.”

It is estimated that horny men comprise almost fifty percent of the total electorate and about 100% of the male population.

“As someone who spent five-and-a-half years in a Vietnamese prison, I understand the needs of the horny,” said McCain.  “What better candidate to fulfill those needs than a hot, zesty PTA mom?”

Senator McCain explained, however, that his V.P. choice is “more than just a pair of long and shapely legs.”

“She’s also a great decision maker, ” he said.  “In the event that something happens to me while in office, Governor Palin would be able to step in immediately to form a committee to select the man who will take my place.”