SEDONA, AZ — John McCain is currently seeking writers for his November 4th concession speech. “It’s important to the American people that a concession speech
Month: September 2008
Russian Plans to Invade Alaskan Air Space Thwarted by Governor Palin
WASILLA, AK– A secret Russian military operation designed to fly President Putin through Alaskan airspace and return him safely to Moscow was thwarted by Governor Sarah Palin, when she went on a major American television network and revealed the plan.
Claim your Bailout Money Today!
WASHINGTON — The federal government is planning on bailing out huge Wall Street corporations with up to a trillion dollars of taxpayers’ money — your money!
The Skunk doesn’t think that’s fair. We believe average citizens like you should get a cut of the proceeds. That’s why we’re proud to announce our “Where’s My Bailout Money, Congress?” assistance program.
Breaking News: McCain Asks to Suspend Election
NEW YORK — Republican John McCain said Wednesday he wants to postpone the 2008 presidential election in order to take time to study the economy,
New McCain Strategy: I'm Blacker than Obama
PHILADELPHIA — In a recent television ad, Senator McCain is shown addressing a group of African Americans, telling them that Obama is not half the black man he is.
“Let’s not fall into the trap of judging blackness by the color of a man’s skin,” said McCain. “I am proud to be a black American. The tint of my exterior may reflect my albino heritage, but in my heart I am blacker than the decaying infra-structure of our inner cities.”
Tennessee Man Receives Government Bailout
WASHINGTON — The Federal Reserve today announced it will be giving 14 billion dollars to Thomas Shale, a blue collar textile worker from Knoxville.
Bush Appoints Self for Third Term
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a move unprecedented in any previous administration, President Bush signed an executive order appointing himself president for a third term.
Pelosi on Palin: Way too Young
WASHINGTON — Representative Nancy Pelosi, Speaker of the House of Representatives and second in line for the presidency, expressed her disappointment in the selection of
Jersey Man Gets Offer to Increase Penis Length in Anonymous Email
Jordan Harber, an assistant underwriter, received an email in his inbox this morning, offering to enlarge his penis for only $17.95. The payment, he was instructed, could be made by using any major credit card.
Proposition 95
Confused about Proposition 95? This political commercial might help. But we doubt it.
