DENVER — A Colorado woman was accused of changing her husband’s Sleep Number on the couple’s adjustable Select Comfort mattress. Arlene Gimbleman had bought the king-size bed five years earlier as a gift for her spouse, whose lower back had been giving him problems since childhood.
Month: May 2009
Larry King Researches Guest Before Interview
LOS ANGELES — CNN host Larry King stunned television viewers last week by researching the background and accomplishments of a guest prior to interviewing him on his popular cable television show.
For the Record 002
In a recent article, we referred to the former Vice President as “Prick Cheney.” We regret not coming up with something more clever.
Gitmo Prison to House Bush Library
Once the last of the terrorists has been relocated, the detention facility at Guantanamo Bay will be transformed into the George W. Bush Presidential Library.
Craigslist to Create New Section for Stalkers, Victims
SAN FRANCISCO — Craigslist officials announced today they will be adding a new category exclusively for Stalkers and Victims, in an attempt to make their Adult Services section safer for call girls, hookers and erotic masseuses.
Bad Singer Sues American Idol for Discrimination
TRENTON — An atrocious singer from New Jersey sued the producers of American Idol, claiming unfair employment practices by only hiring those with strong singing voices to participate in the popular reality series.
Guantanamo Detainee New CEO of Chrysler
DETROIT/GUANTANAMO BAY — Terrorist Abdullah Reza Mafabi, imprisoned at Guantanamo Bay for conspiring with Al Qaeda, is now the number-one man at Chrysler.
New Microsoft Automobile Needs Reboot
SEATTLE — Bill Gates has thrown his hat into the auto manufacturing ring. Microsoft’s first generation of vehicles will be the aptly named “Car, VER. 01,” and will feature internet connectivity and voice activated controls.
Specter Switches Genders
WASHINGTON — Following his surprising switch to the Democratic Party, Senator Arlen Specter has announced that as of Monday he will no longer identify with the male gender, and will be joining the ranks of congressional females.
Trump Defends Miss California as "Perfectly Doable"
The growing controversy as to whether or not Miss California should keep her crown ended today when pageant owner Donald Trump declared the young beauty queen “perfectly doable.”
