Tea Party Offers Pledge to America

Tea Party Protesters
Want create site? With Free visual composer you can do it easy.
A Tea Party Pledge to America

We as Republicans, under the guise of a separate entity known as the Tea Party, offer the following:

A Plan to Improve the Constitution

  • We will repeal and replace the First Amendment with the Second.
  • We will add Fox News as the newly created fourth branch of government.

A Plan to Improve Race Relations

  • We will bring back the word “Negro.”

A Plan to Support Capitalism and the Free Market

  • We will change the Motto of the United States to “Buyer Beware.”

A Plan to Keep our Nation Secure at Home & Abroad

  • We will convert all Muslims to Christianity to thwart their attempts to take over the world.
  • We will employ Rand Paul’s bodyguards to stomp on the heads of people we don’t like.

A Plan for Gays and Lesbians

  • We will declare homosexuality a disease and prohibit gay people from marrying until there’s a cure.

A Plan to Stop Out of Control Spending & Reduce the Size of Government

  • We will prohibit government intrusions into the lives of people who make over $250,000 a year.

A Plan to Support Issues Important to Woman

  • We will appoint Newt Gingrich to fill position as first “Women’s Health Czar.”
  • We will affirm that life begins at ejaculation.
  • We will appoint Justice Clarence Thomas to fill position as first “Porn Czar.”
  • We will declare Bristol Palin the winner of Dancing with the Stars.
  • We will provide makeover for Sharron Angle so she looks more like Christine O’Donnell and Sarah Palin and less like a shriveled apple witch doll.

We will uphold our principles and fight for all American’s, be they white, caucasian, male or Christian.

Did you find apk for android? You can find new Free Android Games and apps.


  1. Delbert says:

    Well. like “Lipton”, Tea Party members believe they have their program in the “bag”……………The irony is: to activate they have to get into “hot water”!

  2. Def Jeff says:

    RT @TheSkunkOrg: Tea Party Offers Pledge to America http://goo.gl/fb/2WfCQ