Trump Claims He's Killed More Terrorists than Obama

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NEW  YORK (TheSkunk.org) — Discounting President Obama’s leadership in the military assault that put an end to Osama bin Laden’s reign of terror, Donald Trump told reporters Monday that he is “very proud and honored” to have killed many more terrorists than the President.

“I can’t give you the exact number,” he said, “but it’s in the thousands. Hundreds of thousands.”

When pressed by reporters to give the exact quantity of terrorists that he personally put to death, Trump responded: “If I decide to announce my run for the presidency, I will make public the incredibly large numbers of terrorists that have died at my hands — or the hands of employees of the Trump Organization.”

The real estate mogul said the American people have placed too much significance on the President’s role in bringing bin Laden to justice. “The man kills one terrorist, and suddenly everyone touts it as a great achievement — I don’t get it.”

According to Trump, a recent CNN poll showed that Americans prefer “thousands of something to just one of something.”

Trump questioned Obama’s experience, saying he found it “odd” that someone who used to attend an elementary school could achieve one of the greatest military victories in history.

“How do you go from being a ten-year-old with no military experience to the Commander-in-Chief of the greatest armed forces in the world? He’s ten years old, then suddenly — thirty, forty years later — he’s elected president? It just doesn’t add up.”

Trump said he has been killing terrorists since he was four years old. “Not only have I killed thousands of times the number of terrorists as Obama,” he added, “I swindled the Saudis out of millions in a shady land deal, and I occasionally sleep with two or three of my daughter’s hot friends.”

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