NRA Opposes Ban on Poison Blow Darts

NRA Opposes Ban on Blowguns

FAIRFAX, VA ( — In the aftermath of the horrific movie theater shooting spree that killed 12 people and injured 58, NRA Executive Vice President Wayne LaPierre said the ban on poison blow darts should be lifted “once and for all.”

“If the moviegoers that night had each been equipped with three-foot sections of hollowed-out bamboo and finely sharpened darts dipped in a deadly toxin like strychnine,” asserted the millionaire gun lobbyist in an interview Monday on FOX News, “they could have taken down the assailant with two or three puffs.”

He proposed handing out blowguns and poison darts to everyone entering a movie theater “to prevent another tragedy where an unarmed audience is caught off-guard.”

“The tribal peoples living the heart of the Amazon jungle have been using poison blowgun darts against their enemies for thousands of years,” noted LaPierre, “and they have never had a single member of their tribe victimized at a movie premiere.”

LaPierre accused the President of dragging his heels on repealing the poison dart ban. “Obama is denying us our constitutional right to blow poison-coated pieces of sharp, pointy projectiles into the necks of our adversaries.”

“The Second Amendment’s right to bear arms separates our country from godless, socialist societies,” added LaPierre, “where governments frown upon the injecting of posion into their fellow citizens.”