BISMARCK (TheSkunk.org) — North Dakota became the first state on Monday to pass fetal firearm legislation, which extends 2nd Amendment rights to the unborn.
The bill amends North Dakota’s constitution to state that “the inalienable right of human life at any stage of development to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.”
The Amnio-Militia bill has passed both houses and is expected to be signed into law by Governor Jack Dalrymple (R), who said it affirms the right of the embryo to “defend itself against the tyranny emanating from D.C. or a D & C.”
Rep. Michelle Bachmann (R-MN) applauded the legislation. “For years, North Dakota women have been concealing guns inside their vaginas,” she said, “and now it’s legal for the little guy living in there to use them.”
The anti-abortion advocacy group Parenthood USA and the National Rifle Association issued a joint statement Monday, which read, “Human life begins at conception, and this bill recognizes our moral obligation to give those tiny humans unfettered access to weapons of death.”
“The only thing that can stop a bad fetus with a gun,” declared NRA Chief Wayne LaPierre, “is a good fetus with a gun.”
“I applaud our legislature for protecting the rights of the unborn gun enthusiast,” said Dalrymple. “It’s a model for the whole nation.”
“Okay, maybe not the whole nation,” he added, “but at least the f*cked-up half.”