North Dakota Bill Allows Fetuses to Own Guns

BISMARCK ( — North Dakota became the first state on Monday to pass fetal firearm legislation, which extends 2nd Amendment rights to the unborn.

The bill amends North Dakota’s constitution to state that “the inalienable right of human life at any stage of development to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.”

The Amnio-Militia bill has passed both houses and is expected to be signed into law by Governor Jack Dalrymple (R), who said it affirms the right of the embryo to “defend itself against the tyranny emanating from D.C. or a D & C.”

Rep. Michelle Bachmann (R-MN) applauded the legislation. “For years, North Dakota women have been concealing guns inside their vaginas,” she said, “and now it’s legal for the little guy living in there to use them.”

The anti-abortion advocacy group Parenthood USA and the National Rifle Association issued a joint statement Monday, which read, “Human life begins at conception, and this bill recognizes our moral obligation to give those tiny humans unfettered access to weapons of death.”

“The only thing that can stop a bad fetus with a gun,” declared NRA Chief Wayne LaPierre, “is a good fetus with a gun.”

“I applaud our legislature for protecting the rights of the unborn gun enthusiast,” said  Dalrymple. “It’s a model for the whole nation.”

“Okay, maybe not the whole nation,” he added, “but at least the f*cked-up half.”


  1. Chris says:

    The 223 owned by Adam Lanza’s mother was lckeod away in the trunk of the car outside the Sandy Hook Elementary School. Adam Lanza was found holding two 9 mm hand guns and the victims were killed with a 223. The coroner said, the victims died from assault rifle rounds, not a hand gun.Did the 223 get up and fly itself to the trunk of the car and lock itself in after it was used? This is obviously a failed false flag to disarm the US population. It seems to be working on some of you who are willing to give up your liberty and right to defend yourselves. Do any of you know what money is, where it comes from or how to create a recession or a depression. Who do you think created the false flag? Do any of you notice the social engineering that was been taking place or are you all brainwashed, emotional, knee jerk reaction people? I read some of these comments and they are not made by people who have critical thinking skills but by people who spend many hours per week watching television and who have an overly simplistic view of what is going on.

  2. DM says:

    It is high time that fetuses get the right to bare arms. The womb is a dangerous and unfriendly environment and to leave a fetus defenseless has been a shameful chapter in our history. Our next agenda should be setting up a fetal draft. If they now have the ability to shot a firearm, I see no reason why they shouldn’t be willing and required to be sent to the front lines that protect this wonderful land of ours…

  3. kathcom says:

    What a relief that a little guy can defend himself and, if necessary, shoot his way out.