SAN DIEGO (TheSkunk.org) — A new victim has come forward to accuse Mayor Bob Filner of sexual harassment: The famous San Diego Chicken.
“I once posed for a picture with him at a Padres game,” clucked the chicken. “The next thing I know, he’s pressing himself against my thighs, sliding his sweaty palms down my wings and asking me to cock-his-doodle-doo.”
Filner, whose term as Mayor has been plagued with accusations of improper behavior by scores of women, has offered an apology to the chicken. “It was never my intention to make the bird feel uncomfortable,” said Filner. “I was just giving a little preening for the great job she’s done as an ambassador of our fine city.”
Filner has attributed his actions to generational differences. “In my day, we had a different attitude toward fowl,” he noted, “and I guess I need to readjust my thinking to changing times, when getting close and personal to poultry is frowned upon.”
The chicken sees it a little differently.
“As a representative of the City of San Diego, I am under the direct employ of the mayor,” the chicken stated. “His advances made for a very intimidating workplace environment.” The chicken has retained an attorney and is considering legal action.
“He said he wanted me to lay his eggs,” she added. “I don’t know how to respond to that. If I had hands, I would have slapped him upside the head.”