Lindsey Graham’s Transition to Bootlicking Toady Complete

WASHINGTON (TheSkunk.org) — The physician who performed surgery on Lindsey Graham today confirmed the South Carolina senator’s transition from “something humanoid” to a “worshipping, ass-kissing, bootlickling toady” was a success.

He was born that way.

“The senator has been conflicted for years about his true nature,” said Dr. Trent Ally Trimendou. “It’s so much harder to come out as an adult, and he should be commended for taking this huge step despite a lack of a spine, genitalia, and a moral compass.”

“The new Lindsey Graham will continue to display the same butt-sucking, parasitic, soulless apparatchik drive that he’s always had,” continued Trimendou. “Only now he won’t have to hide who he really is, underneath the facade of a hominid.”