Egyptians Elect Tutankhamen
Ancient Pharaoh Tutankhamen, who ruled over Egypt during the 18th Dynasty, has been elected the country’s new President.
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A Belated Happy National Skunk Day
As inconceivable as it seems, we completely missed National Skunk Day — and it’s all your fault!
Keystone Pipeline Spill Would Employ Thousands, Says Romney
Mitt Romney said that on his first day in office he will approve the Keystone Pipeline, which will create hundreds of thousands of jobs in the oil clean-up industry within two years.
Ketchup Linked to Lower Risk of Death
Researchers found that habitual ketchup users had a lower risk of death than their snobby, elitist counterparts. Subjects who went through four or five bottles per week lived the longest.
Romney Campaign Hiring Liars
According to its website, the Romney for President campaign is hiring staffers to create outlandish stories and preposterous allegations about President Obama, and then disseminate them through word-of-mouth and the blogosphere.
Romney Asks Nation to Decide What He Should Believe In
Presumptive Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney told supporters Monday that if elected president, he would have the whole country vote on what his opinions should be before he expresses them.
McCain Proposes New ‘Surge’ Strategy to Win War on Women
Senator John McCain today proposed a strategy to send an additional 20,000 Christian extremists into American towns and villages, a plan that would beat back a growing feminist insurgency and enable the nation to be victorious in the GOP-led war against women.
Florida Passes ‘Kill the Negro’ Law
TALLAHASSEE, FL – Republican Governor Rick Scott today signed legislation that would make it legal to use lethal force against black citizens if they appear threatening, frightening, or just “dark and ominous.”
New Arizona Law Says Life Begins at Fantasy
Arizona lawmakers voted to pass legislation that defines life as beginning the moment a person fantasizes about having sex.
Secret Service Foils Colombian Prostitution Price Gouging Scheme
President Obama thanked the members of the Secret Service Wednesday for bringing an end to a Colombian prostitution price gouging scheme.
