Postal Service to Increase Efficiency by Sending Employee Paychecks in the Mail
The U.S. Postal Service today announced plans to increase speed and efficiency by sending postal worker paychecks through the mail.
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‘Obama Is Serial Killer Whose Murderous Rampage Must Stop,’ Says Mitt Romney
DES MOINES, Iowa (TheSkunk.org) — GOP Presidential Candidate Mitt Romney today accused President Obama of being a psychopathic serial killer, whose trail of dead corpses has put our country’s financial system at risk of total collapse.
Donald Trump to Debate His Own Penis
Donald Trump announced he will be debating his own penis.
Herman Cain Suspends His Marriage
ATLANTA (TheSkunk.org) – Saying the bevy of “false accusations” against him have been hurtful to his wife and family, presidential candidate Herman Cain announced today the suspension of his 43-year marriage to Gloria Cain.
Stray Dog: 'I Mounted Herman Cain's Leg'
ROANOAKE, TX — An abandoned golden retriever claims to have mounted Herman Cain’s legs on several occasions going back to 2005.
UCLA Blames Crushing 0-50 Loss on 'Lousy Players'
LOS ANGELES (TheSkunk.org) — UCLA Coach Rick Neuheisel blamed Saturday night’s colossal 0-50 loss against rival USC on “lousy players.”
Explosion at Sugar Refinery Causes Carameltdown
SWEETWATER, TX — An explosion at a major sugar refinery occurred last night, as stunned employees stared on with glazed expressions.
Fox News Not Reporting on Study that Says Its Viewers Are Uninformed
NEW YORK — Fox News executives decided not to report the results of a new study by Fairleigh Dickinson University that concluded Fox viewers are less informed about current events than those who receive their news from other sources — or don’t receive any news at all.
Cat Forced to Vacuum Up Its Own Fur
SAN JOSE, CA (TheSkunk.org) — A short-haired calico cat was forced by its owners Thursday to vacuum up its own fur.
Cain Says He Will Take Dramatic 5‑Minute Pause Before Making Any Decisions
NASHUA, N.H. (TheSkunk.org) — Presidential hopeful Herman Cain defended the uncomfortable five minutes of silence he took trying to respond to a simple foreign policy question by claiming it was all part of his strategy to pause for five minutes before making any decision.
