Skunk Nation

Wayne LaPierre ‘Terrified’ by Guns

NRA Executive Vice President Wayne LaPierre told reporters Thursday that he is “absolutely terrified” by guns and has never fired one in his entire life.

AAA Warns Members of Government ‘Car Grabbers’

“If the government sends their black helicopters to come after our cars,” said AAA President and CEO Robert Darbelnet, “they will be in for the fight of their lives.”

10 New State Laws for 2013

Ten new state laws you should know about.

Historic Document Reveals Founding Fathers Wanted Mentally Ill to Kill Many People at Once

“A free state must not constrain an individual from eradicating his fellow citizens en masse,” wrote Adams.

Boehner Proposes Replacing Medicare with Applebee’s Coupon

Applebys Coupon to Replace Medicare

Speaker John Boehner proposed replacing Medicare with a coupon good for 10% off at Applebee’s restaurants.

Local Family Wants to Secede from Neighborhood

“We want to make this a friendly split,” explained Barton, “but my family and I are willing to take whatever measures we deem necessary to protect our liberty.”

Lawmakers Consider Banning Heterosexuals from Military

Recent accusations of improper testosterone-driven conduct have outraged members of Congress, who claim the military is no place for unrestrained heterosexual behavior.

NY to Replace Subway Trains with Submarines

NY Subway Replaces Trains with Submarines

“Our cost analysis shows that it’s cheaper to replace the trains with submarines than it is to pump the water out of the tunnels,” said MTA spokesperson Kyle Blodgers.

Chris Christie Insists Gay Houseboy is ‘Just a Friend’

Governor Chris Christie (R-NJ) insists his relationship with a Filipino houseboy is purely professional.

McCain Proposes New ‘Surge’ Strategy to Win War on Women

Senator John McCain today proposed a strategy to send an additional 20,000 Christian extremists into American towns and villages, a plan that would beat back a growing feminist insurgency and enable the nation to be victorious in the GOP-led war against women.