Let Them Eat Cake
What are all those “Occupy Wall Street” folks mad about, anyway?
What are all those “Occupy Wall Street” folks mad about, anyway?
WASHINGTON — A report issued today by the United States Census Bureau revealed that poor Americans are not going on vacation nearly as often as their wealthy counterparts.
Employment among imbeciles and morons rose 10% in the 2nd quarter of 2009, according to a new report released today by the U.S. Bureau of Statistics.
WASHINGTON, DC — While the shaky economy has forced most Americans to cut back on their day-to-day living expenses, the U.S. Bureau of Economic Analysis reported that cheap bastards carry on as though nothing has changed.
DENVER — The way out of the country’s economic woes is to let citizens print their own money, said President Barack Obama to a cheering crowd of unemployed construction workers in the Mile High City.
OTTAWA — Dissatisfied with the stimulus package that made its way through Congress, and the lack of conservative input contained therein, Republican senators voted unanimously over the weekend to give tax breaks to Canadians.
WASHINGTON, DC — A new report from the White House indicates that 93% of Americans currently have jobs, superseding previous accounts from the Bureau of Labor Statistics that 7% were out of work.
DETROIT / LAKE FOREST, CA — Struggling to emerge from its financial woes, automobile manufacturer Chrysler LLC, in partnership with pastor Rick Warren, has introduced a new model called the Jesus Chrysler. This alternative energy vehicle forgoes the conventional gasoline engine, running instead on “faith and prayer.”
Santa is skipping Christmas this year. In this video, he explains why.
TRENTON — A New Jersey man sold some of his stuff on eBay last week, and plans to use the money he makes to buy other stuff.