GM CEO Says Employees will Work for $1 if Company Receives Bailout

DETROIT — On the heels of Ford CEO Alan Mulally’s promise to work for $1 per year if his company has to take any government loan money, GM Chief Rick Wagoner has upped the ante by telling Congress that if his firm receives bailout money, he will require all 15,000 GM employees to accept a salary of $1 per year.

“Our plan clearly increases our bottom line to a much larger extent than that proposed by our competitor,” said Wagoner. “Taxpayer’s money will not go to salaries or health care or pension funds, but will be invested directly into marketing our entire line of undesirable vehicles and clunky SUVs.”

Wagoner said that GM workers can take great pride in the fact that they will now be earning the same pay as the head of Ford Motor Company.

The company also said it would be selling its fleet of private jets, and using the money to invest in a brothel in Nevada. The brothel will be staffed by “top” GM executives, whose services will be available to all union auto workers as well as American taxpayers.