GOP Introduces 'Minority Rules' Bill

U.S. Senate

WASHINGTON — The 41 Republican Senators introduced a bill today to create a “minority rules” system, allowing them to impose their unpopular policies with fewer than fifty percent of the vote.

“The Democrats have controlled Congress with their elected majorities for too long,” declared Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell. “With the passage of ‘Minority Rules,’ our party’s failed strategies on financial reform and deregulation of commerce and industry will become the law of the land.”

S. 55221, the “Only 41 Votes Needed to Pass Anything Act,” goes up for a vote before the full senate next week.

Pundits have disagreed as to whether the new law would pass judicial muster. “We’ve anticipated the possibility of court challenges brought on by the so-called ‘Majority of Americans,'” explained McConnell. “That’s why this bill also allows Supreme Court cases to be decided by only four of the nine justices.”

If passed by the Senate, the bill would head over to the House of Representatives, which is working on its own version. H.R. 26553, the “John Boehner Decides it All,” bill would require only the vote of John Boehner to pass legislation in the house.

“Our bill saves taxpayers over $300 million by not holding wasteful hearings and debates,” according to House minority leader, John Boehner. “Since I already know what’s right for the American people, we can forgo all that liberal voting nonsense.”

“With Minority Rules,” added McConnell, “Americans will no longer be bullied by a select group of individuals who conspire to shape legislation by voting together to surpass the fifty percent mark.”

All 57 Democratic and two Independent senators said they plan to vote against the bill, prompting McConnell to call their reaction “predictable.”

“Once again, the majority wants to dictate which laws pass and which don’t,” he said. “If the majority wants to impose its will by voting as a majority to defeat ‘Minority Rules,’ the minority of Americans will let their voices be heard in November, by sending the minority back to Congress.”