WASILLA, AK (TheSkunk.org) — Sarah Palin submitted a proposal today to stop illegal immigration and the oil spill at the same time by using those who have entered this country unlawfully to form a giant “Mound of Mexicans,” large enough to plug the leak.
Palin’s proposal, praised by Tea Party activists and people who just hate Mexicans, calls for rounding up all the undocumented Hispanics in the United States and submerging them “en masse” in the Gulf of Mexico, right above the gushing blowout preventer.
“Those 11 million illegals won’t be bothering our country anymore,” declared Palin, “and neither will that silly old oil.”
Palin said the mound would probably reach the surface of the water and, overtime, develop into a beautiful coral reef, which would “benefit the fishes and other sealife.”
In a statement, the Tea Party praised the former Alaska governor for her “innovation and wisdom,” and said it would do everything to make her plan a major issue in the unpcoming midterm elections.
House Minority Leader John Boehner, however, called Palin’s concept a form of “amnesty” that has undocumented workers taking jobs away from American citizens and would be unacceptable to most Republicans.
“If we’re going to employ 11 million individuals to form a mound at the bottom of the seafloor,” said Boehner, “it should be comprised of people who were born in this country.”
BP CEO Tony Hayward said his company is considering Palin’s idea, but needs to work out a method to keep the undocumented workers from “floating back up to the surface.”
According to Hayward, BP engineers are planning to stuff the immigrants with golf balls, scraps of rubber and other debris to hold them down.
“Anyone who has a better idea how to secure the M.O.M. over the leaking B.O.P,” he added, “is welcome to contact us through our website.”