Michele Bachmann Opposes No-Fly Zone in Favor of No-Mosquito Zone
Michele Bachmann told reports she wants to repeal the no-fly zone over Libya and replace it with something else.
Month: 14 years ago
Compulsive Masturbation 'Unconstitutional' Says Bachmann
WASHINGTON (TheSkunk.org) — Rep. Michele Bachmann told reporters today that compulsive masturbation was unconstitutional, asserting that lawmakers cannot “force citizens to get themselves off.”
Japanese Blame Nuclear Disaster on Faulty Floor Mats
TOKYO (TheSkunk.org) — A couple of improperly fitted floor mats from a 2009 Toyota Camry were cited as the cause of the partial meltdown of reactor cores at Japan’s Fukushima Dai-ichi nuclear power plant.
New Report: Patience No Longer a Virtue
ARLINGTON, VA (TheSkunk.org) — After reviewing the results of a nationwide study, the American Psychiatric Association has removed “patience” from its list of virtues in the latest edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.
Boehner Blames Japan Quake on Obama Tax Policy
WASHINGTON (TheSkunk.org) – Calling it another example of why he believes it is bad for the economy to raise taxes during a recession, Speaker John Boehner laid blame for the recent 8.9 earthquake off the coast of Japan at the failed policies of the Obama administration.
Befuddled Somali Pirates Abandon Attack on Disney Cruise Ship
PORT D’ANDRATX, Mallorca (TheSkunk.org) — A group of Somali pirates retreated from their armed assault on the cruise ship “Disney Magic” Friday after being mocked and manhandled by its passengers.
Republicans Reject No-Lie Zone
WASHINGTON (TheSkunk.org) — Opposing efforts by Democrats in Congress to pass a no-lie zone over the nation’s capital, Republican lawmakers say they will defeat any legislation requiring honest discourse and veracity from elected officials.
Michele Bachmann to Open Nationwide Chain of Abortion Clinics
Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN), vocal advocate for smaller government and Tea party favorite, has licensed her name and likeness to a new chain of nationwide abortion clinics.
