Michele Bachmann Opposes No-Fly Zone in Favor of No-Mosquito Zone

Michele Bachmann wants to replace no-fly zone over Libya.
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WASHINGTON (TheSkunk.org) — Rep. Michele Bachman today told reporters that when President Obama initiated an unauthorized no-fly zone above Libya, he not only violated the constitution, but placed Libyan children at risk. She seeks to replace the policy with a “no-mosquito” zone.

“Flies are an important part of African culture,” said the conservative congresswoman. “God made flies to protect little African babies, and I can often see them buzzing around their little faces when my Christian missionary friends send me pictures from Uganda.”

Bachmann called the no-fly zone a “terrible idea,” and compares the prohibition of flies in Africa to “banning unlimited corporate spending on my 2012 presidential campaign.”

She asserts that had the president first consulted with Congress, the Republican majority would have voted down the no-fly zone and, instead, authorized a no-mosquito zone.

“Mosquitoes are pesky little creatures who serve no purpose whatsoever,” she said. “Even God doesn’t like them. He told me so, himself.”

According to Bachmann, the presence of mosquitoes in Libya has “undoubtedly hindered the rebels’ ability to take on Gadhafi’s forces.”

“You never see mosquitoes in those orphan baby pictures,” she noted. “Why? Because they don’t like to be photographed. They are devious, and they like to hide. If we can prevent them from ever flying again, it won’t be too soon for me.”

Bachmann has sent letters to her colleagues, asking them to repeal “this misguided no-fly zone” and replace it with a no-mosquito zone.

“Our president is a black man who doesn’t like flies,” added Bachmann. “Is that really the change the American people voted for?”

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Comments

  1. daveroch says:

    UPDATE FROM THE FUTURE, March 31, 2012:
    Michelle Bachmann denied allegations that her ‘no-mosquito’ policy — which went into effect in June 2011 — led to a pharmaceutical industry takeover of sub-Saharan Africa in an effort to eradicate the pesky insect. “Our friends at Roche and Pfizer and Trojan have nothing but the best intentions for Africa,” Bachmann said. “Africa is a country that needs medicine.”
    When reminded that Libya was north of the Sahara Desert and that Africa wasn’t a country, Bachmann grew furious. “Who are you to deny their rights as a nation? There goes the liberal media, nurturing terrorism with their false claims.”
    The Coalition for Endangered Mosquitos declined to comment for this story.