WASHINGTON — Following his surprising switch to the Democratic Party, Senator Arlen Specter has announced that as of Monday he will no longer identify with the male gender, and will be joining the ranks of congressional females.
Author: Braddon Mendelson
Trump Defends Miss California as "Perfectly Doable"
The growing controversy as to whether or not Miss California should keep her crown ended today when pageant owner Donald Trump declared the young beauty queen “perfectly doable.”
Gunman Targets Online University
THE INTERNET — Armed with a single Xbox controller, an assailant went on a rampage at Allerman Online University, firing hundreds of virtual rounds at student avatars and targeting the school’s About page and interactive flash instructions.
University Gunman Misses Everyone
BLOOMINGTON, IN — An armed gunman who went on a rampage at Indiana University on Thursday was unable to inflict injuries to anyone, despite firing hundreds of rounds into a crowded campus rally.
CDC: Swine Flu Victims Are Mainly Pigs
ATLANTA — Scientists at the Centers for Disease Control have found that 99.9% of the victims of the H1N1 influenza virus, commonly known as the “Swine Flu,” are pigs.
Waterboarding Survival Classes Cancelled by Al-Qaeda
AFGHAN-PAKISTANI BORDER — Al-Qaida anounced on Monday it will be terminating its Waterboarding Survival course, which has been offered to its members since 9/11.
Obama Approves Sandwich-Boarding
WASHINGTON — President Barack Obama issued an Executive Order today approving the use of “Sandwich Boarding” to extract information from suspected terrorists.
Cheney to Host Waterboarding Finals
NEW YORK — ESPN has entered into an agreement with former vice president Dick Cheney to host the 2009 Waterboarding Finals, to be broadcast live from Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.
Cheney: Somali Pirates Responsible for 9/11
Former vice-president Dick Cheney said in an interview Monday that the Somali pirates who have been wreaking havoc on commercial shipping off the coast of East Africa are responsible for the World Trade Center attacks of September 11, 2001.
