PORT FOURCHON, LA (TheSkunk.org) — BP announced today it will spend $50 million to build a museum dedicated to the plants and animals that have become extinct as a result of the company’s disastrous oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico.
Category: Business
Oil Spill: Gas-X to the Rescue
In its latest attempt stop the unending flow of pressurized petroleum that has been spewing uncontrollably into the Gulf of Mexico, BP announced today it will inject 500 million bottles of Gas-X tablets into the well.
Spilled Oil Was Destined for Gas Station in Iowa
DES MOINES — BP informed the public on Wednesday that the millions of barrels of oil spilling into the Gulf of Mexico were destined for a single gas station in Kimbalton, Iowa.
Enormous Mayonnaise Spill Threatens Lake Michigan
Vast amounts of mayonnaise continue to spill into Lake Michigan after an explosion at the Kraft Foods factory blasted a hole in a pipeline used to manufacture the sandwich spread.
Travel Industry Encourages Poor to Take More Vacations
WASHINGTON — A report issued today by the United States Census Bureau revealed that poor Americans are not going on vacation nearly as often as their wealthy counterparts.
Disney Cigarettes Debut at Magic Kingdom
Fans of Walt Disney will now have the opportunity to smoke the very same tobacco that took the life of their beloved hero.
Toyota Camry Sprouts Wings, Flies into 61st Floor of Empire State Building
A Toyota Camry sprouted wings and flew uncontrollably from a highway in Massachusetts into the 61st floor of the Empire State Building over the weekend.
Wal-Mart Seeks to Hire its First Jew
BENTONVILLE, AR – Desiring to showcase its commitment to diversity, Wal-Mart is looking to hire a Jew in one of its 4200 stores nationwide.
“We are reaching out to the Jewish community,” Wal-Mart CEO Mike Duke told reporters. “We want to let Jews know they have a home here.”
Toyota Blames Acceleration Problem on Faulty Cup Holders
NAGOYA/DETROIT — Toyota announced today is has identified a defect in the design of its cup holders as the source of acceleration problems associated with its popular Corolla, Camry, Tundra, Avalon and RAV4 models.
