BOSTON — Presidential candidate Mitt Romney took down his Facebook page Monday and replaced it with the words “Go Away,” making him the first politician to use antisocial media to spread his detached message of aloofness and indifference to American voters.
Rep. Gabrielle Giffords (D-AZ) was praised by the National Rifle Association for exemplifying their motto: “Guns Don’t Kill.”
VENICE, CA — Devon and Madeline Sutton died in an apartment fire Thursday, despite the cries of a three-year-old tabby cat who meowed vigorously.
MANCHESTER, N.H. — In a speech to a group of supporters, Mitt Romney today proposed that all U.S. tax revenue be paid directly to him. Under the new “Internal Romney Service,” personal and corporate tax payments would no longer be made out to the “IRS,” but to “Mitt Romney,” and deposited electronically into his personal bank account.
ALTOONA, AL (TheSkunk.org) — A female cocker spaniel traveresed a thousand miles of unfamiliar terrain for six weeks to make her way back to her old cage at the Etowah County Animal Shelter.
As 2012 looms just around the corner, The Skunk is pleased to present its annual assessment of the ten greatest jobs of the new year.
ATLANTA (TheSkunk.org) — The Coca-Cola Company today announced the reintroduction of cocaine back into its popular soft drink after an absence of over a hundred years.
FAIRHOPE, AL (TheSkunk.org) — Christian protestors expressed their outrage yesterday outside the Wal-Mart on County Road, after someone in their Church discovered Hanukkah wrapping paper for sale in a bin at the end of the Christmas aisle.
TRENTON, NJ — Governor Chris Christie responded today to criticism of his obesity by announcing plans to continue expanding his waistline until he is “bigger and heavier than that fat fuck William Taft.”
GOP presidential candidate Mitt Romney told students at the University of New Hampshire that “S corporations are people with spina bifida.”
