North Korea Reports 500,000 Dissidents Killed by Freak Lightning Strike
North Korean officials claim that over half a million dissidents, protestors and human rights activists were recently killed by a lightning strike that hit the entire country.
International
Gingrich to Marry bin Laden Wife No. 7
Newt Gingrich has announced plans to marry the seventh wife of slain terrorist Osama bin Laden, 19-year-old Durriya Habou bin Laden.
Prince William and Kate to Honeymoon in Abbottabad
Prince William and his wife, the former Kate Middleton, have finally left for their honeymoon to the city of Abbottabad, Pakistan.
Japanese Blame Nuclear Disaster on Faulty Floor Mats
TOKYO (TheSkunk.org) — A couple of improperly fitted floor mats from a 2009 Toyota Camry were cited as the cause of the partial meltdown of reactor cores at Japan’s Fukushima Dai-ichi nuclear power plant.
Boehner Blames Japan Quake on Obama Tax Policy
WASHINGTON (TheSkunk.org) – Calling it another example of why he believes it is bad for the economy to raise taxes during a recession, Speaker John Boehner laid blame for the recent 8.9 earthquake off the coast of Japan at the failed policies of the Obama administration.
Befuddled Somali Pirates Abandon Attack on Disney Cruise Ship
PORT D’ANDRATX, Mallorca (TheSkunk.org) — A group of Somali pirates retreated from their armed assault on the cruise ship “Disney Magic” Friday after being mocked and manhandled by its passengers.
'Hosni': Fastest Growing Name for U.S. Babies
Although Egyptian strongman Hosni Mubarak may soon be deposed and forced into exile by a populist uprising, his name will live on — at least if parents in the United States have their say. Recent public awareness of the embattled dictator has resulted in thousands of American parents imparting their newborns with the name “Hosni.”
Bachmann, Tea Party to Assist Egyptian Protesters
Representative Michelle Bachmann (R-MN) is leading a contingent of Tea Party activists on a trip to Cairo to offer their expertise to the hundreds of thousands of Egyptian citizens who have been rallying against their government for over a week.
Al-Qaeda's Number Four Promoted to Number Three
ISLAMABAD — After the United States announced the killing of Al Qaeda’s “Number Three” leader, Mustafa Ahmed Muhammad Uthman Abu al-Yazid, the organization quickly named a successor.
Vatican Naval Forces Sink Shipload of Condoms
Pope Benedict ordered his heavily armed battleship, the SS Holy Ghost, to fire at the merchant ship, after learning that its cargo would prevent thousands of unwanted pregnancies and the spread of AIDS — the deadly scurge God sent to Earth to force homosexuals into the clergy.
