Trump Musk 
Trump to Bring Soviet-Era Bread Lines to U.S. 
Jackie Kennedy Attemps Shoe Retrieval 
Disneyland to Remove Matterhorn, Replace with Tilt-A-Whirl 
Abortions Allowed in Texas if Trump is the Father 
Imaginary Obama Polling Higher Than Romney
In a new CNN poll released immediately following the Republican National Convention, the imaginary President Obama created by actor Clint Eastwood leads Mitt Romney by 15 points.
Clint Eastwood Pays Tribute to Ronald Reagan’s Alzheimer’s Disease
Actor-Director Clint Eastwood introduced Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney at the RNC convention Thursday night with a ten-minute tribute to Ronald Reagan’s Alzheimer’s disease.
'Righteous Indignation’ New Theme of RNC Convention
RNC Chairman Reince Priebus decided the theme for the final two days of the Republican Convention would be “Righteous Indignation.”
Former Co-Worker Reveals Himself to Be Secret Santa from 1967
Bookkeeper John Krygner, 77, said he has been wanting to reveal himself as co-worker’s Secret Santa for almost 45 years.
Jews Required to Get Special Voter ID Armbands in Pennsylvania
A provision in the new Pennsylvania Voter ID Law requires Jews to display a special armband in addition to a photo ID.
Missing Ukrainian Marathon Runner Still Making His Way to Finish Line
Although the 2012 Olympics officially ended on Sunday, Kyrylo Fedorchak, a marathon runner from Ukraine, has yet to cross the finish line.
Obama Seeks to Punish Romney’s Success by Taking Away His Wealth and Distributing It to American People
“Why should he be entitled to all this wealth,” asked the President, “when so many of our fellow citizens struggle every day to put food on the table?”
Romney Received Millions in Tax Refunds
Sources at the Treasury Department reveal Mitt Romney received millions of dollars from the IRS from 2001 through 2008.
Fleck Wins Gold in 3m Backflop
Germany’s Stephan Feck received the very first gold medal for the newly created 3m Backflop Diving competition.
Romney Replaces Entire Cayman Islands Olympic Team with Chinese
The decision to outsource the team was “all business,” according to Romney, who formed a shell corporation in the Caymans to handle the transaction.
