Tag: senate
Rand Paul Pisses on Floor of Senate Chamber for 13 Hours
Paul said the purpose of his marathon urination session was to delay the vote on the confirmation of John Brennan as CIA director, by “making the Senate floor really uncomfortable to walk on.”
Infamous Pubic Hair from 1991 Clarence Thomas Confirmation Hearings on Display at Smithsonian
The infamous pubic hair that almost derailed Justice Clarence Thomas’s Senate confirmation is on display at the Smithsonian.
House Votes to Extend Hatred of Obama for Six Months
Congress approved legislation this morning that would extend the GOP’s hatred of President Obama for another six months.
Enormous Mayonnaise Spill Threatens Lake Michigan
Vast amounts of mayonnaise continue to spill into Lake Michigan after an explosion at the Kraft Foods factory blasted a hole in a pipeline used to manufacture the sandwich spread.
GOP Introduces 'Minority Rules' Bill
“The Democrats have controlled Congress with their elected majorities for too long,” declared Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell. “With the passage of ‘Minority Rules,’ our party’s failed strategies on financial reform and deregulation of commerce and industry will become the law of the land.”
Republicans Claim Victory in Passing Healthcare Reform
WASHINGTON — In an apparent about-face, members of the Republican party are not only embracing the recently passed Health Care reform legislation as their own, but insisting its success stems from two minor provisions GOP leaders insisted be stricken from the bill on a technicality.
Voters Disappointed in Scott Brown's Accomplishments in U.S. Senate
BOSTON — Ever since Scott Brown was elected on Tuesday to fill the Senate seat once held by Ted Kennedy, Massachusetts voters have expressed their overwhelming disappointment with his inability to acccomplish anything.
Palin Vagina Announces Run for Senate
The vagina of former vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin announced this morning its plan to run for the Senate seat from Alaska in 2010.
Specter Switches Genders
WASHINGTON — Following his surprising switch to the Democratic Party, Senator Arlen Specter has announced that as of Monday he will no longer identify with the male gender, and will be joining the ranks of congressional females.
