Porn Industry to get $100 Billion in Federal Aid
WASHINGTON — Leaders in the adult entertainment industry, hit hard in the current recession, testified before Congress Monday, explaining the need for $100 billion dollars in government assistance to keep their various enterprises afloat. Leigh Flanders, a producer of hard-core gay videos, claimed the American porn industry is responsible for
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Automakers form Suicide Pact
DETROIT — The chief executives from Ford, GM and Chrysler, fresh from groveling to Congress to bail their respective firms out from under their mismanagement and poor judgment, have issued a statement today outlining plans for their joint suicide. Should any of the Big Three automakers
GM CEO Says Employees will Work for $1 if Company Receives Bailout
DETROIT — On the heels of Ford CEO Alan Mulally’s promise to work for $1 per year if his company has to take any government loan money, GM Chief Rick Wagoner has upped the ante by telling Congress that if his firm receives bailout money, he will require all 15,000 GM employees to accept a
Horse and Buggy Manufacturers Seek Fed Assistance
WASHINGTON, DC — Two horse and buggy manufacturing executives made a trip to Capitol Hill on Friday, seeking government assistance for their flailing industry. During hearings before the House Financial Services Committee, George Thomas Windham, CEO of McCooder & Sons Buggy and Surrey Company,
Feds to Wager $200 Billion in Vegas Gaming
WASHINGTON, DC — Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson announced today that the United States has allotted $200 billion of the recently passed congressional economic bailout to be played on table games in Las Vegas. “It’s quite simple,” explained Paulson. “We take some of that
