McCain Sets New Record for Use of Term "Surge"

LOS ANGELES – Before an audience of mostly independent voters, Senator John McCain mentioned the word “Surge” four-hundred, eighteen times, setting a new record for an American politician to use a meaningless catch phrase in a single speech. The previous record was held by Ronald Reagan, who uttered “I do not recall” in 314 responses during testimony in the Iran-Contra scandal.

Among the top sentences in which McCain incuded the “S” word were:

“I was for the surge; Senator Obama was against it.”

“Senator Obama was against the surge; I was for it.”

“The surge worked, ladies and gentlemen.”

“Ladies and gentlemen, the surge worked.”

“Surge, surge, surge, surge.”

“I forgot the question, I was thinking about how to respond with ‘surge.'”

“As your president, I will create new and useful surges.”

“I favor an economic surge; Senator Obama does not.”

“I use a surge protector for all my electronics; Senator Obama does not.”

“I invented surge protectors; Senator Obama did not.”

“I had surge — ery to remove my skin cancer.”

“My advice for bolemics: surge, not purge.”

As a result of the resurgence of the word, the Mirriam-Webster Dictionary has added a new defintion in its upcoming edition. Surge (n.) “Any harebrained word or catch phrase uttered by a vacuous politician.” USAGE: “The governor’s speech was filled with banality and surge.”