WASHINGTON, DC — John McCain has volunteered to pilot an F-16 to confront the Russian army and put an end to the fighting in Georgia. The senator would be the sole U.S. military response to the conflict.
McCain characterized the mission as a “Surge of One,” enabling him to push the Russians back to their border with his “ace piloting skills.”
“This will demonstrate my experience to lead as commander-in-chief,” said McCain, 71, who hasn’t flown a warplane since being shot down in Vietnam in 1967. “It will be a tête-à-tête, just me and the Ruskies.”
The President of Georgia, Mikheil Saakashvili, said his people will welcome Senator McCain as a liberator. “My countrymen are suffering,” said Saakashvili, “and I only hope my good friend John McCain can get here before it’s too late.”
The latest television ad from the McCain campaign stated that if a man can “singlehandedly ward off the Russian military, then he has what it takes to be president.”
In a statement released earlier today, Sen. Obama said he was in favor of McCain being “personally engaged in this or any military conflict,” and suggested that Sen. Lieberman accompany him as his wingman.