December 19, 2024

McCain Gaining Ground with Lunatic Fringe

Lunatic Fringe Supports McCain

MINNEAPOLIS — Sen. John McCain’s polling numbers have remained consistent over the last four months, with the exception of one category, The Lunatic Fringe, where he is steadily gaining ground.

A recent BSN poll showed that McCain is winning the vote of crazies, dingbats and sociopaths by 63%, which shows a significant increase of 22% since March.

Sarah Blackburn, president of “Oddballs for McCain,” said that her membership values the non-sequitors, general lack of understanding and bizarre behavior displayed by Senator McCain (they are particularly please with his inexplicable choice of vice-president), and they are doing everything they can to make sure he becomes the true leader of the dark regions of the planet Xenoid.

“America owes a great debt to lunatics,” said McCain.  “My story is one that could not be told, were it not for the great contributions the Lunatic Fringe has brought to the American political system.”

The Democrats aren’t worried about the numbers.  “Polling hese people is meaningless,” said a DNC spokesperson.  “We’re confident that come November, all the lunatics will be out in full support of Senator Obama.”

Braddon Mendelson