SUPREMECY, OH — In a last-ditch-effort to present a solution to the nation’s ailing economy, Senator John McCain today disclosed a new plan to allow small businesses to utilize the country’s poor without having to compensate them.
Month: October 2008
The Academy of Sarah Palin Look-Alikes
Ever wonder where all those Sarah Palin look-alikes come from?
U.S. Gov't Pays $4 Million Dollars to Joe the Plumber for Replacement of Washer
The Government Accounting Office reported today that the man McCain refers to as “Joe the Plumber” has been paid $4 million dollars from the U.S. government to replace a washer at a military facility in New Jersey.
'Plumber Joe' Replaced by 'Crack Whore Wanda'
AKRON, OH — In a speech today, Senator McCain alluded to a young prostitute named Wanda he had recently met, who sells her body on street corners and dark alleyways. “Wanda is a working, single mother, and shouldn’t have to pay increased taxes,” said McCain. “I trust her to do a better job with her own money than the government, but under Senator Obama’s tax policies, she wouldn’t have enough cash to pay her rent, compensate her pimp and purchase a supply of clean needles. “
Feds to Wager $200 Billion in Vegas Gaming
WASHINGTON, DC — Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson announced today that the United States has allotted $200 billion of the recently passed congressional economic bailout to
Will Race Influence Your Vote?
Absolutely not. My dad lost his life savings at the races — imaginary ostrich races that were held every day in his hospital room. I’m not going to make the same mistake.
–Maria P.
Albuquerque, NM
Spielberg to Direct Unauthorized Biography of Himself
Paramount Pictures has announced that Steven Spielberg will be directing a feature film based on a soon-to-be-released unauthorized biography of the filmmaker.
McCain's Wife to Buy Votes, Spur Economy
NEW YORK, NY — While taping a segment for the TV show, “The View,” John McCain announced a new economic plan, where citizens would be
The Hollywoodland School of Acting for the Camera
Learn to act at the Hollwywoodland School of Acting for the Camera.
Gov. Palin to be Replaced with SNL's Tina Fey
NEW YORK — In yet another stunning announcement from the McCain campaign, the Republican presidential nominee said that he will be replacing his vice presidential
