Mormons Teach Gay Marriage to Children

SACRAMENTO, CA — Over 10 million California grade school students have been introduced to the subject of same-sex marriage by repeated viewings of TV ads for California’s Gay Marriage Initiative, known as Proposition 8, which was funded largely by the Mormon Church.

“I didn’t know what being gay was,” said Timmy Schroeder, a third grader at Purdue Elementary School in Santa Ana, California.  “Then I saw all these TV commercials talking about gay marriage — I finally asked the man who lives next door to us.  He showed me some videos.”

Bobby Sherwood, a fifth grader at Topeka Grade School in La Jolla asked his parents about gay marriage after numerous exposures to the Proposition 8 spots.  “I had no idea that a man could love another man,” said Bobby.  “What I wanted to know is: how do they make a baby?  Mom told me they get them from China.”

In a statement released today, the California Teachers’ Union praised the Proposition 8 ads, which taught a subject that is not even part of the regular school curriculum.  “Because of the generosity of Mormons,” the statement read, “children in grades K-6 throughout the entire Golden State are better educated about homosexual relationships, and can make informed decisions when it comes time for them to choose a mate.”

Jeanne Taylor, a mother of three girls, ages two through six, expressed her gratitude to the Mormons for using the media to educate her children.  “I want to thank the Mormons for their ‘Vote Yes on 8′ ads,” she said, “which illustrated to my kids to the concept of homosexuality as an alternative lifestyle.  This would have been difficult for me to discuss with them on my own.”

“We hope the Latter-day Saints continue to fund educational programs such as their classy Proposition 8 series,” wrote one principal in a letter to the Los Angeles Times.  “From now on, our teachers will look to the Mormons to provide their expert guidance on all issues relating to marriage.”