To stay alive, Arlindi knew he would have to travel to the devastated third-world country.
Month: January 2010
Are the Republicans making a comeback?
“Yeah, and so is my old man’s dead brother — not the one who died of natural causes, I mean the other one, the one I call ‘Uncle Evidence.'”
— Vinnie “Lead Pipe” Traxell,
Inmate #4566-A43,
NJ Federal Corrections Facility
Racist Councilman Sues Himself for Slander
“I am not a racist,” he asserted, “just because I said I was a ‘racist’ – just because that was the word I used — doesn’t make me one, and I am not going to stand by in silence, as these injurious, defamatory comments sling freely from my unbridled mouth.”
The Skunk Squeaks to 2nd Place in Annual Humorfeed Satire Awards
An article on comedy website TheSkunk.org, “Jews Demote Madoff to Arab”, was honored as the second best satire news story of 2009 by an expert panel of journalists and humor writers in the Fifth Annual HumorFeed Satire News Awards.
Osama bin Laden Seeks New Cinematographer
CAVE SOMEWHERE — Fresh off the release of his first promotional audio tape in over six months, terrorist Chief Osama Bin Laden is now shaking up his video production department.
Kellogg’s Orders Recall After Child Finds Toy Inside Cereal
Kellogg’s has recalled two-million cases of Frosted Flakes after an eight-year-old child discovered a toy car hidden inside the cereal.
Compulsive Masturbator Banned from Sperm Bank
Oliver Kertockum visited the clinic every day for the last three years. When he arrived last Friday, however, staffers refused to hand over the sterile collection cup, and instead demanded he seek professional help.
Conan O'Brien Offered 5-Minute Show on NBC
BURBANK, CA — Conan O’Brien is being wooed back to NBC, this time with his very own five-minute show, to be aired nightly from 11:30 to 11:35 pm.
Voters Disappointed in Scott Brown's Accomplishments in U.S. Senate
BOSTON — Ever since Scott Brown was elected on Tuesday to fill the Senate seat once held by Ted Kennedy, Massachusetts voters have expressed their overwhelming disappointment with his inability to acccomplish anything.
Airport Screener Finds Digested Tacos in Man’s Colon
LOS ANGELES — An alert security screener at LAX yesterday discovered the digested remains of two crunchy tacos concealed inside a passenger’s colon as he was preparing to board a flight for San Francisco.
