McCain Calls for Gun Holiday

WASHINGTON — Senator John McCain today called for a three month “Gun Holiday,” during which gun control laws nationwide would not be enforced.

“With the economy tanking and the country involved in an undeclared war, I felt it was time to do something to spur the sales of gun manufacturers, who have been hurt by this recession as much as anyone else,” said McCain. “So for three months, we should lift the ban on assault weapons, cease all background checks, allow peoples of every age to carry a concealed firearm, and release from prison anyone convicted of using a gun in the commission of a crime.”

The three month “Gun Holiday” would follow McCain’s “Gas Tax Holiday” and “Call Girl Holiday.”

“People love holidays,” said McCain, “When I’m president, I’ll declare a holiday for every issue that confronts us — no matter how serious. There’s nothing Americans can’t celebrate if they put their minds to it.”