Sarah Palin to run for Governor of Alaska
ANCHORAGE — Former Governor of Alaska Sarah Palin has announced plans to run for Governor of Alaska in the 2010 election.
Politics
Secluded Republican Voter Thinks 2000 Presidential Campaign is Still Going On
Anthropologists from the University of Ohio discovered a Republican voter isolated deep in the Appalachian hills who thinks the 2000 presidential campaign is still going on.
Alaska Supreme Court to Rule on Partial-Term Administrations
JUNEAU, AK — No sooner did Governor Sarah Palin decide to abort her term in office after serving only two-and-a-half years, than debate began among Alaskans as to what constitutes a so-called “partial-term” administration.
McCain Wants Own Library Despite Never Being President
SEDONA, AZ — Senator John McCain today announced plans to build his own presidential library, despite the fact that he is not — and has never been — the president.
Gov. Sanford Sent Same Sex Letter to all Mistresses
Gov. Sanford sent the same sex letter to all his mistresses, and boy are they pissed.
GOP Removes ‘Family Values’ from Platform
WASHINGTON, DC — The Republican National Committee announced today it will be removing the much-hyped “Family Values” agenda from its platform.
GOP Elephant Switches Parties
BALTIMORE — On the heels of Senator Arlen Specter’s jump to the Democratic Party, the GOP Elephant — longtime mascot of the Republicans — has announced he, too, is switching political affiliations.
Republicans Propose Ayatollah System for U.S.
WASHINGTON, DC — In a speech at a recent Republican fundraiser, former House Speaker New Gingrich proposed that the United States adopt an Iranian-style Ayatollah form of government.
Specter Switches Genders
WASHINGTON — Following his surprising switch to the Democratic Party, Senator Arlen Specter has announced that as of Monday he will no longer identify with the male gender, and will be joining the ranks of congressional females.
Republicans File Bankruptcy in Court of Ideas
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Republican National Committee filed for bankruptcy today in the U.S. Court of Ideas, citing decades of doctrines that don’t work and an inability to generate new thoughts and workable models for society.
