Politics

McCain to Enslave Poor

SUPREMECY, OH — In a last-ditch-effort to present a solution to the nation’s ailing economy, Senator John McCain today disclosed a new plan to allow small businesses to utilize the country’s poor without having to compensate them.

Super Delegate Can’t Fly

A Democratic National Committee “Super Delegate” from Tennessee, suffered severe fractures to his skull, ribs, arms and legs Thursday, after jumping from a fourth floor window at the DNC Headquarters in Nashville, in his attempt to “fly faster than a speeding bullet.”